My Tips for a Successful Relationship

Back at school! July 2011

I met my boyfriend in school when we were 14 years old. Even then I knew it was love at first sight and we’ve been happily together for the last 6 years. These are my top tips for keeping a good and healthy relationship.

1.      Attraction

Let’s face it, if you don’t feel attracted to your partner physically or mentally, are you sure you want to be with them? Attraction means different things to different people but to me it is simply what makes your partner appeal to you. Do you think they look attractive? Do they have a great sense of humour? Do they share you love for animals? Etc. Many people think that after the honeymoon stage, the attraction between the yourself and your partner fades, however I find that the attraction gets stronger. I find out new things about my boyfriend every day that make me that little more attracted to him and love him even more. The honeymoon phase will fade but that doesn’t mean the relationship can’t be fun anymore and it certainly doesn’t mean you will never feel butterflies in your belly again when you see them.

2.      Communication

Communication is key! My boyfriend and I have only had one argument and many people are shocked when I tell them this. The main reason behind this is because after that argument, we learnt that we needed to start telling each other when something was bothering us, rather than keeping it to ourselves because as cliché as it may be, a relationship really is a two-way street. Do they keep doing something that bugs you? Tell them. Do you wish they would show their affection for you a bit more? Tell them. Obviously don’t constantly be putting them down and nagging at them, but your partner might not know that something is bothering you if you don’t tell them!

Prom! June 2013

3.      Show your affection and appreciation

Don’t forget to tell your partner how you feel. If you can see they put an effort in how they look for a date, make sure they know how good you think they look. If they’ve done something nice for you, whether that’s surprising you with a gift or even something as simple as making you a cup of tea when you come home from work, make sure you thank them for it. Even simple little signs of affection make a big difference in the relationship and it’s a great way to remind your partner how much you care about them.

4.      Talk about the future

My boyfriend and I love talking about our future together and it gives us something to look forward to. Its also a great way to find out if you both want the same things. You don’t have to ask them everything at once, but find out if they want to get married, if they want kids and if so how many, if they want to travel, if they want to have any pets etc. For example, my boyfriend and I both want to live together and get married, but we want to wait until after I finish university. If you want to get married somewhere in the future but they don’t believe in marriage, then it’s probably something you’d want to discuss fairly early because you don’t want to be 2 years into the relationship wanting to get married and start a family only to find out they hate children.

5 year anniversary! March 2016

5.      Discuss your morals

Having the same or similar morals to your partner is a huge thing and I think it can be quite a deal breaker if there are big differences. For example, if I found out my boyfriend didn’t believe a woman has the right to choose to have an abortion, I would be out of that relationship quicker than he could say ‘baby’. You don’t have to sit them down and ask them to tell you everything they believe in straight away, but bringing things up in conversation every now and again and seeing their view is really important.

6.      Make time for each other

You could be a great pair and get on fantastically, but if you keep choosing nights out with your friends over dates/nights in with your partner, they’ll quickly feel underappreciated and as if you’re not that into them. Now that doesn’t mean you can never see your friends and you have to spend all of your free time with your partner, but it does mean making the effort to see them. Whether that be having a slouchy night in or getting dressed up and going out for dinner, keep some time aside for each other. This also goes both ways though and you can't expect your partner to spend all their time with you. You need to let them have time to themselves and with their friends, even if you're not that keen on who they are friends with, you need to learn to trust them and give them some freedom of their own.

7.      Trust and loyalty

Continuing from my last tip, trust is very important. If you can’t trust your partner to go out with their friends because you think they might flirt or cheat on you etc. then you are going to have a tough time. It’s normal to be a bit anxious about them finding someone else, but that is where the trust and loyalty comes in. As well as trusting your partner and expecting them to be loyal to you (unless you’re in an open relationship with is absolutely fine as long as you discuss where to draw the line etc.) you also need to be loyal to them and earn their trust in you.

New Years Eve! Jan 2017

So, those were my tips for a successful relationship! Obviously, all relationships are different so the key thing is to find what works for you. I hope this helped and I’d love to hear any tips you have in the comment below.

Until next time!

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